Sunday, March 31, 2013
Abby's Birthday Shout Out!
Today my beautiful sister Abby turns eighteen years old. She is two years older than me and one of my best friends. I love her spirit and her beautiful smile. Although we may fight, I still love her and she is a huge part of my life. I am so grateful to have her as my sister. She has brought me so much strength and built up my testimony in an amazing way. She is one of the strongest people I know. I could never have gone through the things she has gone through and I am so grateful to have her as an example in my life. I'm so happy to have known her my sixteen years of life. I love you Abby! Happy Birthday! <3
Easter: My Savior's Atonement
Please watch this video:
http://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/he-is-risen?lang=eng
Yesterday afternoon I went into the kitchen and found cartons of eggs and food dye. Confused for a moment, I looked at the calendar and realized that March was ending and tomorrow was Easter Sunday. Last night, I was given the opportunity to attend the Young Women's Broadcast at the conference center. It was my first time ever being in that building and ever being in the same room as the prophet. The spirit felt tangible. As soon as I took my seat and looked at the giant organ before me, I started to cry, overwhelmed with a feeling of love and gratitude. How lucky I was to have that experience and to see the prophet and hear the spirit. It prepared me to feel the spirit today on this Easter Sunday when we are given the opportunity to reflect on our Savior's life and sacrifice and His unconditional love for us.
I have to be honest. My knowledge and understanding of Christ is limited. Although I know about His life and His teachings, I feel as if there is so much more for me to learn. Every story I read, no matter how many times I read it, I find something new and amazing each time. Christ is our Savior, our Redeemer, the Son of God, the Only Begotten of the Father. He is our brother. He gave His life for us so that we may be saved, so that we may be able to return to our Father in Heaven. He gave us the opportunity to repent of our sins and be forgiven and although our sins may bring us pain and sorrow, through Christ's atonement, He has made it possible for us to feel great amounts of joy and happiness and love.
Sister Dalton shared at the Young Women's Broadcast this statement, "Christ made it possible for us to change. Satan makes us feel as though we cannot change. That is a lie." That is a lie. The Atonement is our chance to change. I experienced a time in life when I felt unworthy and I didn't think I could change. I would kneel down to pray. I felt as if there was no pray in my heart and when I would try to speak the words, I felt a physical pain. My words were strained during this time, but I continued to pray. I did not feel worthy; the pain caused me to cry many times. I knew Satan was putting these feelings of unworthiness and pain into my thoughts and heart. You are never unworthy to pray. You are never unworthy to speak to God. Christ made us worthy. He gave us a chance to not only be worthy, but to feel worthy. We cannot allow the adversary to fill our hearts with lies. President Ezra Taft Benson told us, "If we do not feel like praying, then we should pray until we do feel like praying." If we do not feel worthy to pray, we should pray until we do feel worthy. If we do not feel worthy to read the scriptures, we should read until we do. If we do not feel clean to enter the temple, even without a reason to be unclean, we need to continue to attend. We are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. We are worthy of him.
Easter is a time to reflect on Christ's Atoning sacrifice for us. Although painting eggs and receiving Easter basket's creates excitement in our day, the spirit we feel on this day is what makes this day memorable. Christ is our Savior. He saved us. We cannot allow ourselves to fall. We cannot allow ourselves to believe the lies of the adversary. The Lord was not spit upon for us, He was not scorned for us, He was not mocked, He did not bleed, He did not die for us just to have us fall and become scared by the lies and the pain of Satan. You will rise through Christ. You will rise as He rose. You have the ability to become perfect through Christ. We all have a part here. We are all a part of this plan. Fight to achieve. Fight to rise. Fight to feel worthy. Christ's love for you is infinite. He knows your pains. He suffered and He bled for your pains. He knows you. He knows who are you and He knows what you feel. You will find peace through Him. I can promise every one of you that your trial will not be forever. And it is worth the fight. This life is worth it, it is beautiful. It doesn't rain forever. The sun always finds its way through the storm.
I love my Savior. I love the peace and strength I can receive for him. I love this gospel. Happy Easter!
http://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/he-is-risen?lang=eng
Yesterday afternoon I went into the kitchen and found cartons of eggs and food dye. Confused for a moment, I looked at the calendar and realized that March was ending and tomorrow was Easter Sunday. Last night, I was given the opportunity to attend the Young Women's Broadcast at the conference center. It was my first time ever being in that building and ever being in the same room as the prophet. The spirit felt tangible. As soon as I took my seat and looked at the giant organ before me, I started to cry, overwhelmed with a feeling of love and gratitude. How lucky I was to have that experience and to see the prophet and hear the spirit. It prepared me to feel the spirit today on this Easter Sunday when we are given the opportunity to reflect on our Savior's life and sacrifice and His unconditional love for us.
I have to be honest. My knowledge and understanding of Christ is limited. Although I know about His life and His teachings, I feel as if there is so much more for me to learn. Every story I read, no matter how many times I read it, I find something new and amazing each time. Christ is our Savior, our Redeemer, the Son of God, the Only Begotten of the Father. He is our brother. He gave His life for us so that we may be saved, so that we may be able to return to our Father in Heaven. He gave us the opportunity to repent of our sins and be forgiven and although our sins may bring us pain and sorrow, through Christ's atonement, He has made it possible for us to feel great amounts of joy and happiness and love.
Sister Dalton shared at the Young Women's Broadcast this statement, "Christ made it possible for us to change. Satan makes us feel as though we cannot change. That is a lie." That is a lie. The Atonement is our chance to change. I experienced a time in life when I felt unworthy and I didn't think I could change. I would kneel down to pray. I felt as if there was no pray in my heart and when I would try to speak the words, I felt a physical pain. My words were strained during this time, but I continued to pray. I did not feel worthy; the pain caused me to cry many times. I knew Satan was putting these feelings of unworthiness and pain into my thoughts and heart. You are never unworthy to pray. You are never unworthy to speak to God. Christ made us worthy. He gave us a chance to not only be worthy, but to feel worthy. We cannot allow the adversary to fill our hearts with lies. President Ezra Taft Benson told us, "If we do not feel like praying, then we should pray until we do feel like praying." If we do not feel worthy to pray, we should pray until we do feel worthy. If we do not feel worthy to read the scriptures, we should read until we do. If we do not feel clean to enter the temple, even without a reason to be unclean, we need to continue to attend. We are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. We are worthy of him.
Easter is a time to reflect on Christ's Atoning sacrifice for us. Although painting eggs and receiving Easter basket's creates excitement in our day, the spirit we feel on this day is what makes this day memorable. Christ is our Savior. He saved us. We cannot allow ourselves to fall. We cannot allow ourselves to believe the lies of the adversary. The Lord was not spit upon for us, He was not scorned for us, He was not mocked, He did not bleed, He did not die for us just to have us fall and become scared by the lies and the pain of Satan. You will rise through Christ. You will rise as He rose. You have the ability to become perfect through Christ. We all have a part here. We are all a part of this plan. Fight to achieve. Fight to rise. Fight to feel worthy. Christ's love for you is infinite. He knows your pains. He suffered and He bled for your pains. He knows you. He knows who are you and He knows what you feel. You will find peace through Him. I can promise every one of you that your trial will not be forever. And it is worth the fight. This life is worth it, it is beautiful. It doesn't rain forever. The sun always finds its way through the storm.
I love my Savior. I love the peace and strength I can receive for him. I love this gospel. Happy Easter!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Day 4/5: The Last Days
I have never been more tired, more exhausted, more hungry, more sore...in my whole life. I have never been more grateful, more humbled, more faithful, more strong in my whole life. There were many weaknesses that kept me from completing a full week of this challenge and that kept me from being able to do every part of it. They showed in my complaining and on the days I wanted to give up. But, some of those weaknesses have been made strong and have been replaced with gratitude in my heart for the things that I have. I have never been more grateful for a bed to sleep in, a warm shower, food when I need and want it, access to music and media. My week has been exhausting, but I will never regret this week. For who can regret being grateful? Who can regret a chance to exercise faith?
I never would have gotten through this week without the Lord. He blessed me with so much strength this week. On the nights I wanted to cry, because I was emotional from lack of sleep, He made my floor just a little more comfortable and I was able to get through the night with a few hours of sleep. He gave me strength to resist temptation when food was in my pantry, when I could turn the nozzle to warm in the shower, when I could get into my bed and under my covers. I was able to resist, because I knew it would be worth it. And it was. He gave me knowledge this week. Even though I was tired and exhausted, He helped me on tests He knew I was stressing about. I was able to focus in school and I never fell behind on my work. Not only did He give me knowledge, but He gave me wisdom. I had words of wisdom for both myself and those around me. I hope I was able to make at least a small difference in someone's life this week.
Tonight I will never be more grateful to sleep in my bed. I will never be more grateful to take a warm shower and be able to eat breakfast in the morning. I will never be more grateful to turn the radio on in my car, to update my Facebook, and all of those small things in life that seemed so much more important just a few days ago and now seem so pointless. I will not think of them as a need or a want, but as a chance to share my testimony and to be a witness of our Father in Heaven.
There is a war that we all face in our lives between ourselves and the adversary and we need help in that war. We need strength and we need protection.
THE ARMOR OF GOD
Ephesians 6: 10-18
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the WHOLE armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the WHOLE armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness.
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.
Gird your loins with truth, swear the breastplate of righteousness, shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, take the shield of faith, take the helmet of salvation and the sword of truth which is the word of God. The armour of God is our protection and we can't leave any part of us unprotected, to be wounded by the adversary.
HELP FOR THE WAR
Ephesians 2:4-8
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love where with he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are save;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.
Ephesians 2:19-20
19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone.
Ephesians 3:3-6
3 How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote afore in few words,
4 Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ)
5 Which in the other ages was not made known unto the sons of men, as it is now revealed unto his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit;
6 That the Gentiles should be fellowheirs, and of the same body, and partakers of his promise in Christ by the gospel.
Ephesians 4:11-15
11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers.
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.
Ephesians 5:19-20
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Ephesian 5:29, 31-33
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 6:1-3
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
All of these point to so many different things we are blessed with to overcome trial and affliction, but almost every scripture mentions Christ, the Lord. He is our main help. We can not overcome beat the adversary without Christ in our lives. He will be the one fighting beside us.
For those of you facing a trial that you feel won't ever end, it will and I can promise you that. I know trial is hard and it seems like it will never be over. I also know it is hard to convince you that it won't last forever, I was there once. But don't be discouraged, never give up. Giving up is giving into the adversary. Give you burdens to Christ and He will make them light. We were promised that our trials will only be a short while. Something great always follows and I am a witness of that. We all will get to a point in our lives where we love our trials. Maybe not in the moment, but we get to the point that we know they won't last forever and we wait for the day that they are so that we can rejoice in the person they have made us. Remember, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." Christ said this, but we have to remember that there were people who loved Christ. Those who love Christ will love you. You are never alone. A trial only means that you are being prepared for something even greater than you can imagine.
Thank you for this challenge Brother Taggart.
I never would have gotten through this week without the Lord. He blessed me with so much strength this week. On the nights I wanted to cry, because I was emotional from lack of sleep, He made my floor just a little more comfortable and I was able to get through the night with a few hours of sleep. He gave me strength to resist temptation when food was in my pantry, when I could turn the nozzle to warm in the shower, when I could get into my bed and under my covers. I was able to resist, because I knew it would be worth it. And it was. He gave me knowledge this week. Even though I was tired and exhausted, He helped me on tests He knew I was stressing about. I was able to focus in school and I never fell behind on my work. Not only did He give me knowledge, but He gave me wisdom. I had words of wisdom for both myself and those around me. I hope I was able to make at least a small difference in someone's life this week.
Tonight I will never be more grateful to sleep in my bed. I will never be more grateful to take a warm shower and be able to eat breakfast in the morning. I will never be more grateful to turn the radio on in my car, to update my Facebook, and all of those small things in life that seemed so much more important just a few days ago and now seem so pointless. I will not think of them as a need or a want, but as a chance to share my testimony and to be a witness of our Father in Heaven.
There is a war that we all face in our lives between ourselves and the adversary and we need help in that war. We need strength and we need protection.
THE ARMOR OF GOD
Ephesians 6: 10-18
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the WHOLE armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the WHOLE armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness.
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.
Gird your loins with truth, swear the breastplate of righteousness, shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, take the shield of faith, take the helmet of salvation and the sword of truth which is the word of God. The armour of God is our protection and we can't leave any part of us unprotected, to be wounded by the adversary.
HELP FOR THE WAR
Ephesians 2:4-8
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love where with he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are save;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.
Ephesians 2:19-20
19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone.
Ephesians 3:3-6
3 How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote afore in few words,
4 Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ)
5 Which in the other ages was not made known unto the sons of men, as it is now revealed unto his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit;
6 That the Gentiles should be fellowheirs, and of the same body, and partakers of his promise in Christ by the gospel.
Ephesians 4:11-15
11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers.
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.
Ephesians 5:19-20
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Ephesian 5:29, 31-33
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 6:1-3
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
All of these point to so many different things we are blessed with to overcome trial and affliction, but almost every scripture mentions Christ, the Lord. He is our main help. We can not overcome beat the adversary without Christ in our lives. He will be the one fighting beside us.
For those of you facing a trial that you feel won't ever end, it will and I can promise you that. I know trial is hard and it seems like it will never be over. I also know it is hard to convince you that it won't last forever, I was there once. But don't be discouraged, never give up. Giving up is giving into the adversary. Give you burdens to Christ and He will make them light. We were promised that our trials will only be a short while. Something great always follows and I am a witness of that. We all will get to a point in our lives where we love our trials. Maybe not in the moment, but we get to the point that we know they won't last forever and we wait for the day that they are so that we can rejoice in the person they have made us. Remember, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." Christ said this, but we have to remember that there were people who loved Christ. Those who love Christ will love you. You are never alone. A trial only means that you are being prepared for something even greater than you can imagine.
Thank you for this challenge Brother Taggart.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Friends
This post is for all of my friends who have supported me and loved me through the hard times. Who gave me comfort before I asked for it. Who took my hand when I needed it the most.
"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17
I was given the most loving friends who strengthened me through my adversities. That is what we have friends for. They are there to love us and to help us through adversity. A friend loveth at all times. Remember that. If you lose a friend, because they did not love you, you know they were not your friend. But if you lose a friend who loved you, you know that friend will return at some point.
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
A friendship is a two sided relationship. You can not give effort without receiving effort. You can not give without being given. At times we try and we feel as if we failed. Always give your effort in a friendship. Every friendship is worth it, because friends are those who impact your life the most. They teach you the most. They strengthen you the most. They trust you the most. No effort is wasted on a friendship, but at times you just have to wait patiently for your effort to be received. We can not have friends and not be a friend.
"There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." This year, I met the person that answered my prayers. She is my best friend and she is my closest friend. She has brought a little more trust into my life and little more love. I didn't know what I was praying for, but suddenly this small, bubbly girl started calling me her best friend and I took a moment to thank my Heavenly Father for sending her my way. She has been such an amazing example to me and the most amazing friend I've ever had.
"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 24:17
Friends bring out the best in you, true friends. People can try to say that friends bring out both the worst and the best in you, but a true friend will only bring out the best. They will make your countenance sharper. They will build you up stronger and bigger. One true friend is more important than a hundred false friends. One true friend will make you feel wanted while a hundred false friends will make you feel alone. The true friends are the ones you tell your secrets to without being scared that they'll spread them. True friends will not be your judge, but they will be your counselor. True friends are the ones worth having.
Friendship quotes:
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender heart."
"A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world."
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letter and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."
"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar." I hope my friends know that this is the friend I want to be for them.
"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself."
"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17
I was given the most loving friends who strengthened me through my adversities. That is what we have friends for. They are there to love us and to help us through adversity. A friend loveth at all times. Remember that. If you lose a friend, because they did not love you, you know they were not your friend. But if you lose a friend who loved you, you know that friend will return at some point.
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
A friendship is a two sided relationship. You can not give effort without receiving effort. You can not give without being given. At times we try and we feel as if we failed. Always give your effort in a friendship. Every friendship is worth it, because friends are those who impact your life the most. They teach you the most. They strengthen you the most. They trust you the most. No effort is wasted on a friendship, but at times you just have to wait patiently for your effort to be received. We can not have friends and not be a friend.
"There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." This year, I met the person that answered my prayers. She is my best friend and she is my closest friend. She has brought a little more trust into my life and little more love. I didn't know what I was praying for, but suddenly this small, bubbly girl started calling me her best friend and I took a moment to thank my Heavenly Father for sending her my way. She has been such an amazing example to me and the most amazing friend I've ever had.
"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 24:17
Friends bring out the best in you, true friends. People can try to say that friends bring out both the worst and the best in you, but a true friend will only bring out the best. They will make your countenance sharper. They will build you up stronger and bigger. One true friend is more important than a hundred false friends. One true friend will make you feel wanted while a hundred false friends will make you feel alone. The true friends are the ones you tell your secrets to without being scared that they'll spread them. True friends will not be your judge, but they will be your counselor. True friends are the ones worth having.
Friendship quotes:
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender heart."
"A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world."
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letter and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."
"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar." I hope my friends know that this is the friend I want to be for them.
"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself."
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Day 2/3: Hard Floors and Sleepless Hours
The past two days have been very difficult. I can barely stay awake while writing this post. If it cuts short you'll know why.
The past two nights I have slept on my floor and I'm missing my bed more than I ever thought I could. The first night was harder. I went to bed at around 9 and woke up constantly until 1 am, no pillow remember. At that point I was on the verge of tears and jumped on top of my bed. I didn't get into bed, just on top of it. It was all made with about eight pillows in my way. Still, I woke up constantly until 4 am. I think this time it was from the guilt...which brought me back to the floor at 4 am, but this time I brought my flattest pillow. I didn't sleep until my alarm went off at 6 am. Last night was easier. I knew I had to get some sleep, so I allowed myself to keep my flattest pillow. I slept this time, but still woke up about ten times during the night. The sleep I got was probably all from exhaustion from the night before. Two days later and although I have not fallen asleep during class, I really don't remember what I've learned all week...and tomorrow I have a Physics final. My bed will probably be the thing I'll be grateful for at the end of this week.
Now...two meals a day, no snacks. It's definitely one of the easier ones. I'm grateful I'm at school for six and half hours than at rehearsals for two hours. That way I only have to wait an hour before I can eat dinner. I could never live like this though. I'm missing my snacks...desperately, but I also can't complain. I think if I could have one thing right now it would be my bed.
I've realized how weak I am by myself. First, I had to alter the challenge to even think about doing it. I don't think I could have survived the whole week doing the whole challenge like no showering and wearing the same pair of clothes every day and walking everywhere I went. I'm having a hard time now, but I'm grateful I was able to fast this last Sunday before I started my challenge. I've had a lot of temptations this week to sleep in bed or text a certain someone, but I know I've been able to withstand these small temptations, because although this is short, God knows I need it. He knows it will strengthen me and I'm grateful to have him strengthening me through the small things this week. I wish I could be stronger, though, and maybe one day I will. One step at a time. Maybe one day I'll be able to say I completed the whole challenge, by myself with God right beside me.
I'm so grateful I had Seminary this week. If I had to do this challenge without getting to go to Seminary...I wouldn't have been able to make it half way. Seminary has become so much of my testimony. It has made me so much stronger than I used to be just a few months ago. It has made me want even more to overcome my weaknesses and to exercise my faith. It has been my life changer this year. I know trials are short, they don't last forever. And I know I will always be able to overcome them no matter how difficult they are. My trials are so small compared to so many others, but to me they are large and they make me feel weak. The last couple of weeks have been filled with small temptations to give up and times that I felt like my chest would collapse, but Seminary has gotten me through those times so much more than I thought it could. It has been the answer to my lifelong prayer of happiness and I want to thank my Seminary teacher and class for the lessons they have taught me. I want to thank them for the strengthening me and for bringing the spirit into my life. Thank you for loving me through the spirit. <3
I am weak, but through Christ I am strong. I am small, but through God I can be mighty. I am me, and as small and weak as I am, I am a daughter of God. I am a child of God as you all are, and we are strong and mighty.
The past two nights I have slept on my floor and I'm missing my bed more than I ever thought I could. The first night was harder. I went to bed at around 9 and woke up constantly until 1 am, no pillow remember. At that point I was on the verge of tears and jumped on top of my bed. I didn't get into bed, just on top of it. It was all made with about eight pillows in my way. Still, I woke up constantly until 4 am. I think this time it was from the guilt...which brought me back to the floor at 4 am, but this time I brought my flattest pillow. I didn't sleep until my alarm went off at 6 am. Last night was easier. I knew I had to get some sleep, so I allowed myself to keep my flattest pillow. I slept this time, but still woke up about ten times during the night. The sleep I got was probably all from exhaustion from the night before. Two days later and although I have not fallen asleep during class, I really don't remember what I've learned all week...and tomorrow I have a Physics final. My bed will probably be the thing I'll be grateful for at the end of this week.
Now...two meals a day, no snacks. It's definitely one of the easier ones. I'm grateful I'm at school for six and half hours than at rehearsals for two hours. That way I only have to wait an hour before I can eat dinner. I could never live like this though. I'm missing my snacks...desperately, but I also can't complain. I think if I could have one thing right now it would be my bed.
I've realized how weak I am by myself. First, I had to alter the challenge to even think about doing it. I don't think I could have survived the whole week doing the whole challenge like no showering and wearing the same pair of clothes every day and walking everywhere I went. I'm having a hard time now, but I'm grateful I was able to fast this last Sunday before I started my challenge. I've had a lot of temptations this week to sleep in bed or text a certain someone, but I know I've been able to withstand these small temptations, because although this is short, God knows I need it. He knows it will strengthen me and I'm grateful to have him strengthening me through the small things this week. I wish I could be stronger, though, and maybe one day I will. One step at a time. Maybe one day I'll be able to say I completed the whole challenge, by myself with God right beside me.
I'm so grateful I had Seminary this week. If I had to do this challenge without getting to go to Seminary...I wouldn't have been able to make it half way. Seminary has become so much of my testimony. It has made me so much stronger than I used to be just a few months ago. It has made me want even more to overcome my weaknesses and to exercise my faith. It has been my life changer this year. I know trials are short, they don't last forever. And I know I will always be able to overcome them no matter how difficult they are. My trials are so small compared to so many others, but to me they are large and they make me feel weak. The last couple of weeks have been filled with small temptations to give up and times that I felt like my chest would collapse, but Seminary has gotten me through those times so much more than I thought it could. It has been the answer to my lifelong prayer of happiness and I want to thank my Seminary teacher and class for the lessons they have taught me. I want to thank them for the strengthening me and for bringing the spirit into my life. Thank you for loving me through the spirit. <3
I am weak, but through Christ I am strong. I am small, but through God I can be mighty. I am me, and as small and weak as I am, I am a daughter of God. I am a child of God as you all are, and we are strong and mighty.
Hate Is Heartache: Heartache Is Not Hate
So, I've decided that I don't write enough just to write. I'm going to try a poem just for fun and what's better than a love poem, right? Plus...it's the easiest kind of poem.
HATE IS HEARTACHE: HEARTACHE IS NOT HATE
Taller than me, stronger than me
A smile to take my breath from me
Brighter than me, smarter than me
Have to know you're perfect for me
Thought you took my heart away
But felt it in a brand new way
Cause looking into so much blue
Finally realized I gave it to you
Lost my sense of when and where
Lost all thoughts of who is there
For when you tapped me lightly twice
Couldn't help but tap back thrice
Took me up right to cloud nine
Where you cannot help but shine
And when you took me slightly down
Still I could not bare to frown
Cause heartache comes from too much hate
But that will never be my fate
For this heartache comes and goes
Because of everything I chose
I chose you from the very start
I gave you every inch of my heart
And that is something I will never regret
Since our friendship's not over yet
I'm not an inspiration writing, I sort of just write down clever words.
I'm not an inspiration writing, I sort of just write down clever words.
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