Life

This post is a ponder post and I have been pondering and thinking about a lot of different things. Mostly just life itself. I've been asking myself so many questions that I cannot answer. Life is such an amazing thing when you think about it. It's just so incredible to really think about your life from the past to the future, to sit and think about the things you've done and the things you hope to do. Life is the one thing that seems so hard yet is so easy. It's easy to live, but difficult to go on. We are taught that we can do hard things and the fact that I am here, that you are, is proof of that. Life is a hard thing, but we are so lucky and so blessed to have the things that make it easy.

I don't know my purpose in life yet. I know bits and pieces, but I'm still young and I still have a long way to go. I want to know my purpose. I want to feel that purpose in my life. I feel like I have a purpose and I know I have one, I just haven't figured it out yet. But, I'm excited for the day that it hits me. I'm excited for life, no matter how difficult it may get to go on. I just have to remember the easy things.

It's an amazing thing to think about my past life, to think about my trials and accomplishments. I love to think about how far I've already come. I've been torn down, my heart has been broken and bruised, and I've lost things that I loved. Yet here I am. I have been built up, my heart has been mended by others, and I've gained things even greater than I could have imagined. I wouldn't change my past. I wouldn't change the mistakes I made or my failures or even my sins, because I wouldn't be here without those. I wouldn't be this person that I have come to love. I know I'm not perfect and my past is not perfect, but isn't that what life is about? Not being perfect? It's about always striving to do our best even when our best can't be perfect. It's about wanting to be perfect, but accepting it when we're not. We're not meant to be perfect right now. We're meant to make mistakes, because that is what defines us. Mistakes shape us into a perfect person.

It can sometimes be a scary thing to think about your present and a lot of the time we don't want to, but I love to ponder on my present. I'm a stubborn teenager and I know this. I like to think I have more freedom than I really do. I know I'm immature still and I sometimes make stupid decisions. My mom tries to convince me that my brain isn't fully developed yet, but my brain likes to think otherwise. I'm to the point in my life where all my previous plans of the future are dead. I don't know what I want to do with my future right now. I know I want to go to college, get married, have a family, but I don't know the specifics. I'm at a very conflicted time in my life with friendships, relationships, school, hobbies, whatever it is there seems to be some kind of conflict or decision I have to make. But I'm also happy. Despite the drama I may face or the stupid decisions I make, I'm still happy with who I am and where I've gotten in my life. I know I have a long ways to go, but for now I'm happy.

The future can be something that just hurts your brain to think about. I'm excited for my future. I'm excited for the new friends I'll make, the relationships I'll be in, the things I get to experience and accomplish. There's a lot to be excited for. I just want to be older. I just want to experience life already. Maybe that's not a good thing to want, but I do. My future is fuzzy and the only way to clear it up is to experience it. It just sometimes comes a little slower than I wish it would.

Life is life. It can be hard and it can easy, but don't ever think it's too hard for you to handle. Don't ever take the easy road though, because the easy road is short and you'll go farther down the hard road. You'll experience more, you'll grow more, and you'll be glad you took it. Life is worth living, no matter how hard it gets. There is nothing too hard for us. We are children of the greatest being in the universe. He loves us and He would not give us a trial that was too hard to overcome. Just think.