Sophomore Memories

I would like to dedicate this post to my seminary teacher from this last semester, who strengthened my testimony more with a love for the gospel and the feeling of it rather than a knowledge and faith of it, although he did that also. This last Tuesday he had us think about some of our favorite memories and it really got me thinking about this last year. My sophomore year is coming to a close and it suddenly hit me hard. This year felt different than any other year and a flood of memories came back to me. I don't want this school year to end. I have been influenced by so many incredible people and I don't want them to leave. I want this year to keep going. I still want to be a sophomore. Some of the memories that I thought of were sweet and some were bitter and some were bittersweet. I want to share those memories with you.

Just a little back ground information before I begin on my memories. Ninth grade was an insane year for me. I started off as an excited ninth grader, but it was all downhill from there. I won't go into detail, but ninth grade was the year my testimony was most swayed and most strengthened. I never gained friends in ninth grade, but I did lose friends. Half way through the year I dropped all my classes except one and did a sort of homeschooling. Later I found out that rumors started to spread about why I had dropped out which made it so that I lost even more friends. I was happy when the school year ended, but summer brought even more trials. It was the time in my life where I felt so alone and I could never have seen it end. I lost faith and I didn't feel like my prayers were being answered. I felt betrayed and used and worthless. I was afraid for high school to start. I had decided to go to the school that the majority of my ninth grade friends weren't going to. Finally, the summer ended and I started high school.

My first memory of high school was drama class. When my brother was in high school he had a little incident with the drama teacher and I was prepared to be known as my brother's sister. But, all my teacher said was "You look like a McIntosh." So, I survived that hazard and eventually that class came to be my favorite class and the one I'm going to miss the most. Last that week I auditioned for the Shakespeare team to go down and compete in the Shakespeare Festival. My high school director had never seen me act before and barely knew my name I assume. You could either do a monologue, a duo scene, or the ensemble scene. I remember going to look at the list and all I looked at was the ensemble list. I wasn't too saddened when my name wasn't on it since I was only a sophomore. Later, my friend came up to me and congratulated me on it. Confused, he finally told me that I was doing a monologue for the Shakespeare team. Surprise!

Now, I don't really remember meeting most of my friends. I went into high school with no close friends at all. I assume I met most of them in my drama class. One of my best friends later told me that his first memory of me was the first day of drama class. He told me that I walked into the drama room and I was of course the "new girl" and his first thought was "My gosh, she is so pretty." Haha, guess that's the thought that made us friends. I met a lot of my friends while at the Shakespeare competition and one in particular. She is now my best friend. She was in my room during Shakespeare alone with two other girls who became my friends. I remember hanging around her and everything, but it wasn't until  December that we truly became friends. I invited her on a shopping trip and soon after this strange girl started to call me her best friend. I was shocked since no one had ever done that. Soon, I started to call her my best friend after she called me just to tell me her first kiss story. That was the first moment I realized that my prayers were really getting answered. She is now my best friend and my sister. I can't imagine my life without her. We fight, sure, but I know she loves me for me and she knows she's my best friend. She was the biggest answer to my prayers and I'm so grateful for her. It was worth the wait for the answers.

One of my favorite memories is of my sixteenth birthday. I can honestly say that it was the best birthday yet and one of the best days of my life. It started with the New Year's Eve dance, the day before my birthday. I went with my best friend and normally I hate going to dances, but this night was memorable. I danced to the point of pain. I sang and I laughed. We did the countdown and I had never had so many people wish me happy birthday before. And I had only known them for a few months. One of my friends asked me to dance so he could be the first guy to dance with me when I turned sixteen. He danced me across the whole gym and even made me fall, but it was one of the best dances I have had. The next day was my birthday and that night would be my birthday party. I was so excited and, even with my worries, it was a great turn out. Almost all of my friends came. I remember that three of my friends stayed and played Headbanz with me until 1:00 a.m. One in particular was a very new friend and one that may have sparked my interest. I could tell he was waiting for the other two to leave before he did and finally when they did, he asked me on my first date for the 18th of January. I remember staying up until 4:00 a.m., because I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake thinking about those two days and oops, texting my new friend. That was the one and only time I was up that late.

Now, the next memory was my first date. I have been on about six dates since than, but being the first, it was still the best. It was just a double date, we went bowling, got ice cream, and talked. Simple, yet the perfect first date. I think I was definitely lucky and it got its very own page in my journal.

The next couple months or so included the memories of second date, first kiss, first boyfriend, first breakup. The typical teenage years and none of them were bad memories, but I'll spare you of the details mostly for my family's sake.

The next memory was my first day in seminary second semester with the teacher that this post is dedicated to. I have had three other seminary teachers in the past that I all loved, but this semester was different. I was in a good place in my life. I was happy and my testimony was strong, but this class still changed my life. I remember the first day of him calling role and he had to do a double take before he realized who I was related to, my older sister, whom I didn't realize I looked so much like. That semester was an incredible experience. It became the class that was more than just a class. I wanted it to be life. I wanted to feel the way I felt in that class every day in my life. My teacher an insane guy. He's loud and crazy and catches you off guard, but I loved every second he taught me. Never in my life have I felt the spirit so strongly than when I felt it in that seminary class. Not in Sunday school, not at Girls' Camp, not at EFY. That seminary teacher and class was the reason I made this blog.

Next was my memory of being cast in the Spring production of Hamlet. Now, before Shakespeare competition I had never done anything Shakespeare except in my 6th grade play of Taming of the Shrew, which frankly doesn't count. I auditioned with a little confidence, but knowing I was a sophomore and it only had seven woman in it, I didn't expect to get in. Especially after our director gave my class a little talk about how the girls weren't allowed to take this personally if they didn't get in. I later had about three people come up to me and say they noticed he was looking at me a lot of the time...believe me, I noticed to. Then, I went to ask for his feedback on my audition. The one thing good he had to say about it was that he liked my voice. Then, gave me some constructive criticism. I knew I wasn't getting into the play. After school everyone rushed to see the list and I walked. I wanted to see who was cast as Ophelia and noticed my friend was. While congratulating her I happened to notice the name next to Gertrude, the one other female lead. Lauren McIntosh. My jaw dropped, literally, and I sat in shock. Soon tears started to spill over, because of the shock. That play was one of the best experiences that I've had. I had to get out of my comfort zone a lot, but I definitely grew as an actress.

My next memory was Prom. I went with one of my best friends. Favorite dance I went to. My dress came from China and was only $30.00. I was proud of that. We went to a Japanese restaurant and had people cook in front of us. We had an adventure with directions and finding different places. We finally got to the dance and I danced and danced and danced. The next day I would realized how much I danced because my hips were quite sore. The day before we had our day date and of course the cops had to get involved in some way. Thank goodness it was the other car in our group. That was an interesting date for sure. My favorite part was my corsage. It was by far the best corsage in the room and probably the world.

Another memory is of an unlikely friend. I new this girl through another friend and we both admit now that we didn't particularly like each other. But through difficult yet strengthening circumstances we became friends. The very first time we hung out, we spent six hours together. That morning neither one of us would ever have thought we would be friends in the next twenty-four hours. Surprisingly, she came to me for help and without a second thought I gave it to her and now I'm glad I did. I learned that she is not the person I expected her to be. She's fun and easy to talk to and she knows how I feel. She became someone that felt so good to talk to, despite that conflicts we had in the past. She's an amazing young woman and strength to me. I didn't think I'd meet a new friend the last month of school, yet I did, and she's become a close friend, even though she was an unlikely friend.

One of my last memories is a bittersweet one. This last Friday my grandma was hospitalized and we all went down to St. George to see her. None of us knew if she was going to live or not. I stayed until Sunday and she's getting better. She walked today, so that's good news. When I said goodbye it was hard, because I don't know if that's the last time I'll see her. I'm probably the least close to my grandma out of all of my siblings, but I think I'm closer than some people are to their grandparents. I have so many memories of her. On the drive down, I wrote her a note telling her I loved her and I also wrote her a poem. Sunday, my mom read her that note and poem. I was sitting in the waiting room and got a text from my sister saying that my grandma wanted to see me. I walked in and she thanked me for the note, then asked me to read the poem at her funeral. I cried inside, but laughed and told her I would. Than she asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I said no she said, "That's okay, I'm sure you have more than one. You have to have at least half a dozen." And I agreed. While saying goodbye, my grandma told me a memory she had of me when I was little. When I was eighteen months old I stayed with her and my step-grandpa. Now, I've always been the one ready to leave whenever we were on vacation down there, but she told me when my mom came to get me I didn't want to leave. Later, my mom told me it made her cry, because I really didn't want to leave. She said I didn't want to have anything to do with her. I wanted to stay with my grandma. That memory sort of gave me a shock, but I'm so glad I was able to have my grandma tell me that story. It's now my favorite memory of my grandma, even though I'm sure I'll have more.

My last memory is of my best friend. Friday night, we had our own night. Now, these nights are more than just a girls' night. It's a "Me and My Best Friend" night. Of course, we sort of went wild. I collect shot glasses from every where. Right now I have about forty shot glasses, but I swear I only ever do soda shots. That night, I had Mountain Dew for the very first time...we did Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper shots...I probably shouldn't have driven after that. But, it will be one of my favorite memories with my best friend. It was just her and me, laughing and growing even closer than before. Gosh, I love her.

This last year was an incredible year. I learned so much and so many people influenced me. There were some hard times, but I don't have any regrets from this year. I loved every second. Every trial was just a strength and every one of my prayers from last year was answered. If you're reading this and you go to school with me, you're guaranteed to have changed my life and have taught me something. I'll miss all of you seniors who are leaving for college and missions and I'm excited to see you sophomores and juniors again next year. One specific thing I remember learning from someone this year, was within the last half of the year. A great friend and someone who influenced me the most out of anyone, even if they don't realize it, taught me that happiness is a choice. You choose to be happy, you choose how you take things in life. Things can build you up or break you down, but that's your choice. I had learned that before, but somehow, because of them, it stuck with me and it's the thing I remember the very most and I'll always remember that they're the one who taught me that. I'm going to miss being a sophomore, but I will never forget these memories or these people. I want to thank my Heavenly Father for answering my prayers.